Norway to No Way

This may be the way I die.

You know those moments in your life when you ask yourself what was I thinking? I had one of those moments in Norway.

On the seventeen-hour train ride from Prague to Brussels, a good-looking man from the Netherlands stepped into my sleeper car around midnight. I was still awake when he came in.

He was very interesting and most definitely a free spirit like myself. I am unsure if it is my brain or the fact I have worked in the movie business, but of course, I conjured up a whole bunch of ways this story could end.

For example, he would fall madly in love with me within a few hours. He would ask me to come to the Netherlands, and we would live happily ever after.

Another ending would be that we would have a great conversation, finally fall asleep, and I would wake up to a note stuck to the back of my pak that said, "If you’re ever in the Netherlands, get in touch." Of course, I would, and then we would live happily ever after.

The last ending was he was a serial killer going from train to train to woo women, and then, well, you know. He had been on the run for months, and I was just another one on his list.

The last one was my least favorite.

All of them could potentially happen, and maybe one of them would have if this older woman had not shown up a half hour later. She was from New Zealand but lived in Australia. We got to talking, and she told me about a Facebook page called "Host a Sister.” It is a global community of women who can connect to share homes, friendships, and travel advice.

I reached out and joined the Facebook page. Why not? What was the difference between this and any other way I have traveled? I was already sleeping in a sleeper car with five people I didn’t know. House sitting, couch surfing, hosteling, and Airbnb in rooms of people’s houses were basically the same thing.

I posted to the page that I was looking for a place to stay in Norway. A woman answered. Her reply was odd, but I thought maybe it was just the language barrier. We exchanged a few messages. She would probably not be home, but I could stay there for nights if I wanted.

But I would find out it was not exactly Oslo.

I got to the Oslo train station at 10 a.m. I still didn’t know where I was going for the evening because she had not told me her exact location. All she had sent me was a cryptic message: When you get to Oslo, if you want to see the city, you should. My house is about fifteen minutes by train from the city.

Okay, that’s fine, I thought, I will go into the city.

I stashed my bag in a locker at the train station and started walking into the city. I walked along Karl Johans Gate, Oslo’s main street, which is filled with shops, cafes, and landmarks like the Royal Palace and National Theatre.

I went to the Gustav Vigeland Sculpture Park, an open-air park filled with over 200 unique sculptures by Gustav Vigeland. It was a beautiful way of exploring human emotions through art and taking in the remarkable fall foliage.

Since my paintings center around navigation, I wanted to tour the Viking Ship Museum to learn about Norse history and seafaring culture. But my timing was off, and I didn’t see it.

I opted to walk through the Akershus Fortress, built in the 13th century. The castle grounds, which include beautiful views of the Oslofjord, were stunning, offering a glimpse into Oslo's medieval past.

Then, I walked over to the Oslo Opera House, a striking, modern building located right by the water and known for its unique architecture. I sat at the end of the dock and took in the views. I decided I needed to go on a boat cruise the following day.

Then I got a text message from the Host a Sister lady with her address. I plugged it into my phone. I was about 40 minutes away. I wondered if this was still a good idea.

I am not going to lie. I contemplated getting a hotel instead of staying with her. But at the moment, I had to decide; I hopped on the train and went for it. How bad could it be?

I have to interject something here. If you haven’t traveled much, there are a few things you should know. The larger train stations are usually in the dodgiest parts of the city, with several tracks and many people around. The further you get from the city, the less dodgy (sometimes); fewer people and fewer tracks.

The train station I got off of looked like the apocalypse had just happened. I started talking to myself: WTF…is anyone here? I checked my phone. There was another cryptic message:

Is she trying to make me do the hokey pokey? What the hell?

I looked around. I saw the stairs, bridge, and stairs. Okay, the instructions were legit. I followed them and wound up in the woods like she said.

It was now almost dark and here I was walking in the middle of the mother flippin’ woods in Norway. The thoughts were running through my head. Would I die here? Are there werewolves? Jesus, I don’t even know what kind of wild animals I need to protect myself from. What the f’ was I thinking?

I kept walking. What else was I going to do?

Okay, Jolene. If you don’t reach a road in ten minutes, we turn around. We will wait for the train and go back to the city and get a hotel. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to see a road, her house will be there and she will be great.

What if she is setting me up? What if she does this is every “sister”? What if she is a serial killer? What if once I get in the house, she calls the cops and says I broke in? Or stole something?

I was getting panicked. Then I saw the road. A few minutes later, I saw her house just as she described it. The code she gave me worked. I walked in, and the place was really nice. And she was home.

She made me a snack and gave me some tea. We sat in her living room and chatted about all things Norway. She told me about her family, her divorce, and her upbringing. She was very intelligent, well-educated, and a compassionate woman. She was also pretty fearless, just like me.

It’s funny how I would describe myself as fearless when I had so many fearful thoughts going through my head. Maybe the better way to say it is that I know how to combat fearful thoughts and be fearless.

I have been through a lot of adversity in my life. I feel like when I was up in line to come to earth school, the conversation looked something like this:

Higher Being: Are you sure you want to take on your family's full karmic lineage this lifetime? It is a heavy fate.

Spirit Me: (Rubs hands together and jumps up and down out of ignorance) YEAH! Fuck yeah, I am ready!

Higher Being: (eye roll)Okay. (Then I am launched onto Earth School)

Higher Being looks at the group and says: We better be ready to go into action with this one. It ain’t going to be easy.

The next day, I woke up alive. I went back to Oslo for the fjord cruise. It was four hours long and breathtaking. I feel thankful I got to see Oslo in the fall. I met a really cool couple from England celebrating their 30th anniversary. They almost talked me into going to Poland.

After the boat tour, I decided to take off for Sweden. I wanted to see a few stops before landing in Malmo for three days, including Varberg, where I’ll meet you next!

In the meantime, if you are a paid subscriber, please enjoy this real-time video of me getting to the apocalyptic station and navigating my way to my possible death. If you are not a paid subscriber, please consider subscribing below.