Panic Quietly

The moment the map burned and nothing made sense anymore

“Panic quietly.”

That’s what he said.

In the ambulance.

Two months later, he was diagnosed with stage four cancer.

Five months after that—

He was gone.

There is no preparing for that.

None.

One moment you are living a life.

The next—

You are launched into something that no longer makes sense.

The only way I can describe it is this:

A big bang in reverse.

Everything collapsed inward.

Light disappeared.
Sound distorted.
Time stopped meaning anything.

I couldn’t see forward.

I couldn’t see back.

I couldn’t even find myself.

Everything I knew—

Gone. Into The Never Ever.

The Never Ever. I made this digital art collage from photographs with him. It was the closest image I could create that described how I felt.

I wish I could tell you there was a moment where it started to make sense.

There wasn’t.

If you want to understand what comes after something like this…
keep going.