When you learn how to fake anything, it’s hard to believe anything.
And I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that.
The other thing is that when you create illusions for a living, it becomes really hard to trust what you see.
And I can go either way.
If I see something that I don’t think is real, and I check it—and it is real—I don’t just accept it.
I start thinking about how it was constructed. How it was created to look that way.
And on the flip side, when I see something that isn’t real— I think about the exact same thing.
How was it built? What did it cost? Was it less money to have scenic create it? Or would it have been more cost-effective to just use the real thing?
Seeing the world through this lens, honestly it never really turns off. And I don’t think people realize what that does to you over time. Because eventually, you stop just seeing things.
You start reading them.
And then there’s this other realization that always comes in…
Nothing needs to stay.
Everything in movies is temporary.
Everything.
We build entire worlds knowing they’re going to be painted over, torn down, or turned into something else. Sometimes we spend days getting something just right—and then we change it. Because it’s not about permanence. It’s about what works.
And once that really sinks in—you can’t help but start thinking about your own life that way.
If nothing has to stay…then what am I holding onto? Or what can I create right now?
If everything can be changed… then why am I living with things that don’t feel right?
This is where it stopped being about movie sets for me. Because I started to realize, if I don’t like something in my house, or in my life, or even in myself, I don’t have just to accept it.
I can look at it.
I can question it.
And I can change it.
And that sounds really simple. But it’s not. Because if everything is changeable then what am I choosing not to change?
What am I tolerating that I don’t actually have to?
What have I convinced myself is just “the way it is” that isn’t?
That’s the part that gets uncomfortable.
Because in movies, we change things all the time. We’ll start something, and the Production Designer will come in and say, “This needs to be a completely different color.” And we change it. We don’t argue with it. We don’t say, “but it was already done.”We just… change it. Until it works.
So I have to ask myself: Why don’t we do that in real life?
I read a lot about perception and how we’re not actually seeing reality. We are actually interpreting it. Filling in the gaps. Focusing on certain things and completely missing others.
Seeing what we expect to see.
And the more I think about it, the harder it is to ignore because we’re not just living in reality. We’re participating in it.
So if that’s true…
then what am I reinforcing? What am I choosing to see? What am I ignoring?What version of my life (or myself!) am I actively building without even realizing it? Because at some point, this stops being about illusion. And starts being about responsibility.
Because it’s one thing to realize nothing is permanent. It’s another thing to realize you’re the one holding the key to so many other versions of the worlds you know.
And once you see that, you can’t unsee it.
So now the question isn’t just: What am I creating?
It becomes:
Why am I creating it this way…and what would it take to change it?